Residuum

Our father

who art in heaven…

Is that why you were never home?

Is that where you’ve been

all these years? In heaven?

Hollowed be my cries

valley of tears at night

alone wishing

you could bring us our daily bread.

Padre nuestro,

el cielo esta tan lejos

y nos cobija

pero me sentía fría.

Padre nuestro, estas en los cielos

y la casa vacía

fría como hielo.

Padre nuestro

who art in heaven

hallowed be thy name.

Efrain!

Am I really still mad at you

or just mad for this trope?

Hollowed cries

like bark

termites of fear

hollowed me out- canoe inside.

Me pongo fría

en los tiempos difíciles

dura, difícil de traspasar.

Must forgive your trespasses

really, forgive and move on.

Forgive myself for feeling 

like I wasn’t enough.

Forgive myself for walking around

with a chip on my shoulder

really, I  had a chipped shoulder

all that shrugging and sobbing.

I want to deliver me

to me, be full of grace

blessed be all the fruits of my womb.

Our father who are in heaven

do you listen to my prayers?

I rummaged through this shit

so damn much, time to bury

la pinche hacha

at your feet, pin my milagro

on your shirt wear it

a badge of honor- El perdonado.

Glory be to you father

as it was for me in the beginning

but my eyes were not turned

the right way to see…glory

is now and ever shall just be.

Just be.