Friday, December 1, 2017

My '92 (published in Foglifter Volume 2 Issue 2)



April 29, 2017.
Man, these winds!
LA’s anxiety is effervescent.
Must be the pangs of
TWENTY-
FIVE
years ago today
when South Central looked
like the Olympic cauldron
from above.

Today is the anniversary
of not waiting any longer.
Their fury and pain
passed on, one generation’s
fire lit the next,
grew tall like cypress trees stronger
against the winds of neglect.
Doesn’t feel good to be treated
without dignity.
To have it rubbed in your face
that profits are at all costs; shitty schools,
jerky roads, crowded health facilities
and non-living-wage-jobs.
Young men’s lives
stuffed into small boxes
with metal bars for profit.
Or in mahogany coffins
dropped six feet underground.
Black and Brown boys
Stowed away, your keeps sake.
Urban communities pay for your profits
even beaten out of us
like the air that escaped
our chests
when the verdict was read.
Doesn’t feel good to feel
like you can’t breath.

Concentrated poverty.
What else to focus on
when it’s so dense it chokes us
like the fumes from burning city
burning lungs;
like lead and other poisons
festering in our soil.
Food deserts eroding
nutrition, freeways corralling
our quarters, darkening our ozone.
I need some water
but I don’t trust it.
Water is life.
Brown water
is jaundiced, red blood cells breaking down.
Blood floods, flooded, flooding
our streets.
Jaundiced
we ain’t envious
Motha’ fucker
we are tired
Motha’ fucker.
Call us Marxist, communist, socialist,
anarchist or your favorite
THUGS
we’re tearing shit down.
Sociologist Robert Parks
says is supposed to be “natural”
to segregate in the city
through economic, political and cultural influences.
Rain is natural,
it comes when it wants, ask Cali.
The sun is natural
see it RISE.
The Earth trembles,
waves pound against beachside villages,
resorts, sea cliffs and retaining walls.
Segregated city is not natural
it’s exclusion through redlining
an invisible border outlining
around our cities, racist policies
making us outliers
where we remain
hitched to higher interest rates
no rent control and denied
for home loans.
You’re so far from me you can’t see
I’m human.
You changed the name of the city
South Central
to “South LA” to erase the past.
You’re embarrassed by us, so rewrite
Revisionist, as you know how to do.

April 29, 1992
people’s guts exploded- that’s vile.
It wasn’t the first time
marginalized people’s spirit
converged in the streets either.
New York, Chicago, Baltimore, Boston
Los Angeles civil unrests cutting
away at pretending that god, grit and
goodwill will save the hood.
You stood/stand by
and watch us like we’re some ill-behaved
children who’ve lost our way
and in frustration we throw a tantrum-
you shake your dayum
head rattling all that nonsense
in between your ears.
You sigh and reminisce
about your Russian immigrant grandfather
who arrived here poor as a pauper
never acted improper, lived through the worst
time to be poor ever, the Great Depression;
the last time white people felt empathy for poverty.
                        waif, wavering, whites with wandering eyes
searching for some hope
plastered across the headlines #ExtraExtraReadAllAboutIT
Searching for a prayer. Cause the lord taketh care of.
White helplessness proliferated the news line.
            Whoa! Did she say proliferated?
            Whoa, she sounds educated!


Circa 2015
I’m sitting above the city
atop Abalone Cove Shoreline Park: Palos Verdes California
Seaweed floating
like the gold flakes
in a Schnapps bottle.
But the Pacific is hardly
as clear as Goldschläger
more like a sheet of patina
from where I sit
Palos Verdes rolling hills
cradled by rolling waves all the way
fading into the horizon.
I can see downtown buildings
cutting through the smog
mixed with summer haze
looking more like a bar graph
than epic skyline to me.
We ain't New York but I can go
from chaparral to sea coast
in under an hour’s time
just coasting up the 110 south.

I first heard of PV in high school
some classmates commuted from PV
to go to C.A.M.S[1]
Couldn’t believe our experimental magnet school
offered them more than their beachfront property home high school.
But what did I know, my home high school
couldn't even front a better education
with their no resource having, no AP courses providing,
yearly race-rioting asses.
No stopping to see waves playfully pushing seaweed
on our way to our classes.
So many golden opportunities wasted away
like human waste discarded into the Pacific.

Our waters are not clean, shit runs dirty.
It is so quiet up here, so open no buildings to block
the view. Did folks up here
see the dark lines of smoke that day?
The city was set ablaze, anger, hurt, disrespect
piled up and burned, baby, burned like garbage.
The rubbish spewed by those jurors
blew our communities minds.
Stacey Koon and his gang walked away free.
He was judged by a jury of his peers; non-POC,
all male or females his age, his status, his race.
Not anyone who could relate to the historical trauma
of living with unequal protection under the law.


April 29, 1992
our 13 inch black and white
with the pliers-for-dial TV
radiated in color from the scorching
South Central LA.
Not “FUCK THE POLICE,”
“FUCK ALL YOUR SOCIAL CONTROL”
all the barriers you place to keep
your place
ERECT while our world crumbled.

When the sirens started
I didn't see a thing from our
1 bedroom apartment.
Los Angeles was burning
once word hit the street
the streets got mad
hit back with flames, angry fists and other objects
hurled at windows and at one another.
Like billy clubs, steel toe boots
and 245 watts of electricity-
fire ran through the streets
like pain through every cell of Mr. King
that one awful night in ’91.
Rodney King, a 34 janitor who ran into Mr. Stacy Koon
A night Mr. Koon was overflowing with rage,
lots of burning yo’ up in this place.
Yes, Mr. Koon took out his frustrations
on an unsuspecting “negrito,”
pobrecito just another throwaway. 


My HS sweetheart called me
 the morning after the verdict
to make sure I was ok.
LA was in flames
and it was spreading to the South Bay.
I didn't go to school that day,
the school bus couldn’t
coil it’s way around the chaos,
the ferocity of the demonstrators.
People were taking stuff from stores,
breaking glass windows,  running in fast
and coming out
faster despite the weight
they carried with arms full
but nothing they took could
fill the emptiness they felt inside.
Koon and his gang broke the law
and got away with it,
communities break the law
to get away from it
the failed system that fails to protect
cause it’s meant to control.
Rioters revolt to show they can’t be controlled,
like fire.

My city’s streets were empty and barricaded.
Army jeeps parked at the intersection
of Compton Blvd. and Artesia to the west
Wilmington to the east.
Army vehicles parked,
men with army colored regalia
and rifles were perched on our street
alert, menacing
like waiting lions.
The Army National Guard sent in
to protect us from ourselves.
The sun hadn’t set but all the kids had to go home.
It was the rule. A curfew they called it.
A new rule just for us,
cause we darkies couldn’t be trusted in the dark.
“Dayum,” I thought “Our city is already messed up.
We don’t have any businesses, there’s empty lots everywhere.”
I was scared of the police, scared of the National Guards,
scared for and of the people looting,
scared that the laws were not really there to protect us all.
I wished with all my might that the looters would go
riot in Beverly Hills, Pacific Palisades,
in Brentwood and Hollywood Hills.
I wish rich people would feel the things
that our community was feeling.
Wished that Koon had felt some sympathy,
that America wasn’t broken,
that those 4 police officers hadn’t tried to kill Rodney King,
that Reginald Denny had never been attacked
on the intersection of Normandie & Florence by those 4 assailants.
I wished all 8 perpetrators of the violent beatings
where punished the same
but the white ones wearing the very, very very dark,
not black, but blue uniforms got off scot-free.

That guy-
Robert Park
also said  
the city is our mirror
it reflects the human condition.
Walt Disney Concert Hall’s
shine is only a interference in our perspective
encandilados, with the panels warping our realities.
The city is a state of mind, right now it seems
like lust is on the mind, for power, terrain
for money for the ‘cause I said so…” of it.
the city is our mirror
it reflects the human condition.







[1] California Academy of Mathematics and Science

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Beautifully written as always.

BLM Owes Me Nothing!

(R.I.P Vanessa Guillen) 1. I think that when you organize a social justice event; participate in a rally or a cause it’s because...