Gray ocean waves
rushed the Manhattan Beach shore.
We strolled along The Strand-
congested with laughter, barking dogs
and skaters’ wheels rolling over sandy pavement-
symphony of summer beach life.
My heartbeat roared over all the noise,
only I could hear its rumble.
I took a big gulp of briny sea air,
my stomach felt like Jell-O,
I exhaled and tasted adrenaline.
We strolled along like so many other weekends
but I felt lost, in my thoughts in my feelings
rushing over me, coming to my surface
You grabbed my hand and pointed…
Something in the sky? The boat in the water?
Couldn’t make out what you said,
I know my hand slipped out of your hand
like the giggles slipped out your lips
I didn’t want to let go
but your hand carried away
my body heat with it.
I knew I couldn’t just be your friend
if not having you made
a summer afternoon feel cold.
My tongue stumbled trying to convey
to you my heart’s testimony.
I opened my mouth, wanted to swallow the sunset
to blind you with my smile,
tell you the things that emerge in me when I’m with you.
Your warmth all volcanic, melts my anti-love fears
allowing possibilities to erupt
and dreams of a future with you hover like cumulus clouds.
But all I had was human words, my truth
unfurled before you, earth angel, “vision of loveliness,”
skin soft like rose petals, eyes blue like the horizon,
pink lips that part into a smile
that unglued me and made me feel like a convert
of the renaissance of love.
We sat on a bench to watch in silence
as the sun appeared to slip into the ocean.
“The sun doesn’t actually rise and set,
it’s us, Earth spins on its axis…” you said breaking
“While it rotates around the sun,” I added.
My anxiety ebbed as I reached for you hand, pulled
you closer to me and asked “Will you be my sun?”
You grabbed my hand,
rested your head on me
and said “for all seasons.”