Claudia Rodriguez

My coming out experience was drenched in effeminate male energy. My click was a bola of loud and proud young jotos too queeny for their own dam good. They faced taunting from the jocks, cowardly threats left at night stuck to their dorm room door and the snickers from girly-girls as they, these young, brave, smart queeny boys, made their way across campus skipping hand in hand. These hombres, with their staunch rebelliousness against anything boring, intolerant and hetero-normative taught me about standing up for my right to be who I am. I learned to be proud, outspoken and how to be comfortable in my butch skin. Yes, they even helped me feel desirable- I do make a cute boi after all. “I like your sideburns,” he said then giggled. “Thanks! Why do you laugh?” I asked “Cause I don’t think I’ve ever told a girl that before,” he replied and giggled some more this time he covered his mouth with his palm, very ladylike. We both laughed and continued to walk across campus, him leaning

I dreamt that I was flying on a magic carpet. A nice thick one, with burgundy threads and of course laced with gold. Golden tassels flowing in the wind charmed like snakes. A carpet like the one Aladdin used to reach Jasmine’s lair and shit…but BIGGER! Big enough to cover the whole of my floor, from the living room to the back door. I wasn’t afraid- it was too big to drop me plus the force of the gravity pressed me down like thumbs into the carpet’s fiber. 100, 300, 600 thread counts and counting as it went up. Higher and higher it went till my lips, my entire face went numb then on fire. My skin felt peeled from the chill of the night. I felt a shrill building up inside. I couldn’t release the scream,Edward Munch, I was about to burst from the silence…suicide. That’s where shit got out of control, more and more feet I climbed but my guts they never left the floor. The moon was coming at me! Looking fuller than a workaholic’s agenda and blinding like Friday Night Lights. Even thr