Claudia Rodriguez

It was hot outside, the air was thick with the kind of heat that warps roads when you look down them, the kind of heat that makes Las Doñas keep cool by balancing objects on top of their heads- they way they did back in their homelands. It was the kind of heat that makes peoples ignore two women holding each other, displaying their love publicly. But to me the heat was like a million pins piercing my skin. Your hair was up in two ponytails that said little girl inhibition but the Baby-T you were wearing framed your tetas with a deep smile and shouted out your lust with every inhale. At least that’s what my hunger heard. You caught my eyes buried in your cleavage and flirtatiously pressed your chest against me. Had you put your hands down my pants your fingers would’ve discovered that my pussy had already licked its lips in anticipation for yours. With one bite I injected my cravings for you into my bottom lip paralyzing my urges till we got home. We looked down the street

How many words? A thousand is what they say. And what say you this picture says? Can you tell I’m listening? Growing like Alice before your eyes? My chest limp hot air balloon gets bigger each bag I drop. ABANDONMENT, CruTches, don’t want to be lame. Enough with the bottoming coming on top like an immigrant Amalia. Daughter of an immigrant work till you lose your home your family roots humanity self Amelia mind. Work to get that flame going higher gets me higher happy deep as smile lines. Epiphany opening like a drawbridge rusted with years of tears for fears now rosebuds open in my chest ideas pop like stys before my eyes and I feel. I feel it stinging hangnail and I feel. I can say it all I’m a Compton O.G Oh GirL Oh geez! Orale Guey! O.G. from Compton Original Genius descendant from the line of OG authors from Compton Oh Gosh! Wait no descendants? Def not as long a list as the physically gifted star ballers’ we’ve pro

Me gano Megalo… Me gano Megalo… Me gano, mano la tercera es la vencida. So, hay les va! Caducidad deshacer con el desperdicio como dead skin. Como se dice? 35 capas talla duro, raspa esa capa como coreana. Convierte piel liviana, como se dice “rice paper”? Resbalosa. Brillosa como recién nacida. Talla! Vuelve a nacer a lo mas básico 1 + 1 son 2. Talla! Hay mas que pulir! Pulir es vivir. Todavía mas que borrar. Pero como ARDE! Te hace recordar actos pasados… toma DOS. Te hace recordar actos pasados disque pa borrar el pasado. Tacón como rompehielos rompe piel cercas de mis costillas siento escurrir un chorrito de sangre. Despacito como la verdad revelada. Pero nada revela carne blanca como unos chicotazos. RAPIDOS! Dejando sus huellas calientes como un cerillo. Rápidos, como le vida de un cerillo. 1- chicotazo 2- chicotazos 3- para encender mi espalda No me estorbes mis pensamientos mis emociones me estorban. Se ponen en mi cami

“Let’s see, what else is left for me?” B scanned her to-do-list “wear your leather bodysuit .” B giggled at the idea of her suit being a “full-bodysuit” it looked more like a bunch of leather strips masterfully braided together by Daddy’s best friend and leather extraordinaire, Pig. No one designed leather gear like Pig who managed to make those strips of leather look so good, sexy and fashion forward. Daddy loved the bodysuit and B loved getting him all wet and hard. She got him hard and he fucked her; win-win situations excited her. The truth was that the bodysuit was also one of B’s favorites. The suite exposed so much of her skin, looking more like an “outline” of a bodysuit. Thick leather strips covered her nipples, with a built in ass-lift, the bodysuit was not quite crotch-less but framed her pussy lips perfectly; keeping them under pressure as if bound. She felt fucken nasty in it and desirable, always ready and open…always for her Daddy. “I’m ready for you,” B would sa

B looked at the clock, the tiny multicolored brackets flashed with vigor, it was her alarm reminding her that Daddy would be home in thirty minutes. Her nipples wet, cold and hard peered from the clammy water. She dreaded getting out of the bath. She loved to soak in hot water seasoned with mint and lavender scented Epson salts- just as Daddy had taught her to do. He stressed the importance of self-care to B, “how can I expect you to take care of my needs if you don’t know how to take care of your own,” he insisted. B couldn’t refute, it took a lot of hard work to please Daddy. Today alone she had already shined 4 pair of boots, cleaned his chaps and vests, untangled floggers, set up the play room: 1. candles lit, 2. Daddy’s toy chest unlocked. 3. lube 4. gloves 5. First Aid kit 6. water and snacks 7. music set at the appropriate level She stepped out the tub and checked her cunt in the mirror and admired her recently trimmed pubic hairs; a fine layer. Not too fine nothin

Dear Selection Committee, You want me to tell you why I deserve the money what I’d do with the money? How will I grow you, money? I’m going to use your money and make you look good. Oh yeah, make you look so fucken good. Cause I’m good. We good? People gon’ say “Damn, how did they know she was good?” And that just means you gooder than me. You’re GOOD. You’re a mother FUCKING genius putting this genius on stage. Yeah, I said genius…. who else does your institution represent? I need to puSh thiS Shit out!!!!! Ssssss, but it hurts brain like impacted glands have me dragging my ass around Pinch! Pinch that shit tight, squeeze like a penny pincher. Come now, give me that money. Let me show you how loud I toot toot, toot, toot-a-loot a lot of praises and raises of the bar going up to it and ordering falling in that order and getting mine… Bartender! Me, Goaltender! Tending my goals, can’t have them dropping like chickens in the heat. Cause,

Unas cuantas cucharadas de miel mezclado con jugo de limón. Jarabe agridulce, lubrica esa resequedad en mi garganta. Amargura silenciosa que ahorca. Me ahogo- tos que raspa contra mis paredes ecos del pasado atrapados, pulsando contra mis amígdalas. Es infeccioso como mantra se me graba- la mala maña de tragarme mis emociones, que telaraña que al fin se escapa como calentura por mis poros de mi ser enfermizo. Remedio… Embragada en un libro. Caminar en la playa. Unas nalgadas. Unos besitos. Espalda arañada. ¿Una palabra ajustada contra la pagina, como cura? La palabra en mi diario me ajusta, como un quiropráctico. Me ajustan palabras Siempre restan para otro día. Mañana- siempre llegare a mañana mientras tenga algo pendiente que expresar. Escribo para no sentirme sola Saber que no estoy sola. En soledad Intento tocar tu pecho. Vaporub caliente Desencadenándote Enredando te Con mis enredos. Around my finger pero te recuerdo y te quiero

I dreamt, I remember. Finally, been a long time! No longer will I say I don’t remember my dreams, no longer will I question why I’m alive. Dreams, my compass guide me to what I want to be. Can’t have higher aspirations than when your brain is at its highest- peaking. Peek into my future, close my eyes and see in front of me. When I forget what I’m doing, what I’m set for, specks of dreams mark my pace make my pace faster, heart, pace like REM! Pace myself, stay on track. Follow my dreams, Optical illusions? Mine! Desires exposed. Sitting atop this hill overlooking Ooh-LA- LA- land enchanted by the bruised sunset, smog’s optical illusion, reminding me that I used to dream. Before I floated through this world like smog, heavy visible layer creating optical illusions of wonder, I used to dream. Fingers moving fast. My words taking flight. Me the simple marionette controlled by my dreams such manipulators carrot on a stick- showing me my sht

FUCK leather!! Lately these days long hours late nights shoulders knotted eyes encircled with shade head aches pain, what a nuisance- leaving me sin ganas to eat it. LEATHER For sure can’t wear it. Not buying a quarter pound not paying $200 for grey leather Highway patrol pants. Ditching the leather wear that makes me hard, wet like the moisture trapped between my skin and “my skin”. The truth my finances have made shit hard on me. Every other day getting mad mail getting mad at my mail shouting a big FUCK YOU to the system of fixed interests and out of order priorities I mean principles. Where are my principles? Mailed off with 0% interest just like that! (finger snap) Sin querer quriendo I gave it to me hard…again. But nobody forces Who forces? What? My pen on that paper that credit card in the slot running it up and down handling it like a handle my name on everybody’s lips. Handle slot machine with lesser returns retail therapy

“It’s just like heaven bein’ here with you you’re like an angel too, good to be true” -Rosie and the Originals Too, good to be true? Huh, must be why I forget I can have you whenever I want? You’re my salt. You make everything better. Salt. Sweat gathered under my breasts. Skin red under my breasts. Titties slapping your ass smacking against my mound. Methodic. Soft-mounds slapping Hard! FUCKEN burlesque ain’t got nothing on these. Don’t make me twirl these bitches! Twirl around my thumb finds your hole worm myself inside your hole, tight brown fade to pink. Eye squinting starring at me. WINK, WINK! Each time I blow. Slow, I dig in slow. My thumb throbs pleasure-pressure pressing down on your spot. I don’t recall childhood growing pains ankles never hurt back no aches Titties? Little avocados overly ripe about to burst. Easily bruised my EGO the stares. Here we go! Get outta your head! They say. Nah, nah, I get’s into my head.

Don’t put me in a box unless it’s a black box. Me and those walls about to go at it. Shadow boxing! Them walls can speak and they did speak to me told me “spill secrets.” Secrete the truth through my teeth. Nah I’m lying, cause walls don’t talk but the floors did they supported me in everything I said when times got tough they carried me me…with all my baggage they never broke under the pressure supporting me and the crew. Popped off in ‘02, wrecking havoc on stage, black box experimental creatures let lose, acting out pulling from within. Shit! Had projecting down to a science we’s an experiment run amuck. Dam geeks lost their mind losing our mind, till we got it together. Together, asses on the line taking a bow, curtsey, pound over the heart wave of the hand, across the lights given them a hand, they lent us a hand the guys, behind the switches wizards of Oz corroborating in the fantasies, had to be how else could it be to feel so alive. Alive!

When does my Quinceañera begin? My butchness flower? Gardenia, pungent, white pure, innocence in a bottle aromatic incense. Grrrrrr to be free Vrrrrrrrroom Heading that way! Rites of passage Rights of passage. Passing over me my whole self when you cross me. Right to passage, I say! Evolve, get out the way! Write my passages pages and more pages Mad man! So, so mad the pace, Quinceañera. As in, cada quincena te traigo tu domingo No siete! Quince Coupletes una sobre la otra Oligarchy but all RICH. You devour MY vowels. You Fester in my bowels. Quince Digo, quisiera As in “ya quisieras” Si pudieras lo harías? “Si lo hago, chanfles” Ya no me hago La Pendeja! Lotería Le atine. butch Wear me Proud BUTCH, Were you proud? Wore down a little, not rubbed out what nut breaking my head figuring it out. OTHERING. Being OTHERED. On to OTHERS and they will do onto you. Until you learn Let go. Bye bye hair I didn’t care anymore Wore my s

Look at these hands they love you good. Suck my finger Suck it! Go ‘head deny me I wish you would. I got you deep rooted, wood. Look at this hand. Hand over your skin to me- Opened pores, you, like a honeycomb me endulsas. Hand over your skin pour myself into you. Discovering one small step for… These fingers trigger trigger fingers trigger rat-tat-tat-tat one giant leap in your cunt “mellon ballers.” Scrape SCRAPE ScRApe! Scratchy throat red, burning, paprika from your hollers me asustan nails on chalkboard. Inflamation of the joints knuckles flexing, slow tentacles reaching out Venus flytrap tempting, lock me in push me out all sticky, pasty, joint to my skin. Inflammation of the joints burning at my center my wrist, limp been working my nerve can’t deel with the numbness I gotta work that nerve. Yeah, right there Get me that release Spilling it for you, baby Revealing it to you, baby. Don’t look at my hand take it. Hanzel and Gretel with me Leaving traces of ourselves trails and tr

My snake’s heart can be salty como saladito. I refuse to lick them- my wounds anymore. Exposed like the life of a party revealed- taking the life out da’ party killing the bubbly romance. It’s in my hands it’s in my hand Corazon crushing it gorgeous grapefruit-swollen mi corazon. I…need love a muse My muse LET you muse on my love. Love- what I do Love feel it right right feel to my love. This is how it’ll be FOREVER and EVER I promise over and over EVER 208 times disregard my warning; Don’t play! Electricity, electric, you charge me. Our chemistry molecular bonds bonded. You’re hard like chemistry String me along break my head show me things cause crazy reactions. Break my head expose you to my thoughts changing matters. Can’t figure this interaction. Respond not reaction? Break my head open, free, ego drop wait that’s gravity it’s all physical our science. Under our skin read it with your finger tips. My dark matter hangs over