An Altar the Size of Chichen Itza Part 2

Xipe Totec Aztec god associate with rejuvenation and Spring time

Anastasio couldn’t believe he did it in 2 weeks, he got all his shit out of that place in just 2 weeks. Not sure how many trips, at all times of the day back and forth between East Los Angeles and Korea town he made but he did it. 2 weeks before his lease ended too. He knew he was lucky, very lucky; things could be worse. He wasn’t crashing on someone’s couch or worse back at this mom’s place. Stop, don’t go there. It’s not like that at all. Anastasio loved his mamacita to death, she was his “homegirl” he’d tell all his friends. But his mamacita lived in a one-bedroom apartment that was already way too “cozy” cause his homegirl was a bit on the pack-ratty side. Plus he knew he couldn’t fully mourn with his mom around, he couldn’t get all loca descontrolada and go on benders that ended with some hot tail in his bed, or get lesbian locked down drowning in the wails of Mazzy Star, Sarah McLachlan, Tori Amos and them. And getting high and watching porn in in his underwear for those “I need to purge you outta me,” moments was absolutely out of the question. He didn’t want his mamacita to worry, which he knew she would. She’d pace anxiously around her boxes and piles of stuff, the same way she did whenever he got sick as a child. He knew she’d see him, her brown eyes pierce through his happy-go-lucky façade right through his sparrow chest to his little corazon and start to pace wondering que tecito she could make him that would take away the gunk in his alma.  Then she’d dig through her record collection and play something like:
“guitarras lloren guitarras 
violines lloren igual 
no dejen que yo me valla 
con el silencio de su cantar,”[1]
and ask him to dance, the way she used to whenever she tried to help him shake off his bout of depression that like acne stuck around all his teenage years. He couldn’t get mad at her for trying but he really needed his space and he felt way too tender to brave through a Cuco Sanchez marathon. I mean come on….
“Anoche estuve llorando
Horas enteras
Pensando que sólo tú eras
Toda la causa de mi sufrir,”[2]

Tell me this isn’t just asking for a big sob session. Anastasio knew it was coming, and he was looking forward to that day cause he knew that deep down in his chest would feel clean, like an L.A. sky after rain. But right now he knew he couldn’t take care of his feelings and his mamacita’s. He knew he was lucky “Fuck, thank you, thank you Big Al,” he muttered almost in prayer as he headed down Normandie Ave. to catch the 10 freeway east. He was almost brought to tears thinking how Big Al, his BFF of all BFFs, whom he’s known since first grade and instantly fell in love with her when they built that 100 piece outer space puzzle together and she let him put in the last piece. Even after so many years she was still helping him put things back together. Big Al, who’s real name was Alexandra, and her partner Oliver owned a home, a duplex and it just so happened that their back unit became free so of course Anastasio got first dibs on that rental.

The Gods and Goddesses only push us as much as our spirit can take, just to wake our spirit up and remind us that we are descendants of warriors and can overcome any hardship.”
“Oh shut up, shut up,” Anastasio tapped as his right temple with his finger to silence Kal’s voice reassuring him in his head. “You don’t have that right anymore you’re the last person I need encouragement from.” Anastasio was stopped at a stop light and the lady on the corner waiting to cross stared at Anastasio almost unsure if she should cross in front of his car. Anastasio stared at the light waiting for it to change when suddenly he felt parched and decided to pull over at the liquor store on the corner to get something to drink.
He had been coming to this corner store for years, it your was your typical corner store that sold a little bit of everything including a little bit of old produce- onions, tomatoes, avocados some bananas. A corner of the refrigerator, that wasn’t reserved for tall boys, six packs or carbonated drinks, stacked a few dairy products. It was the kind of space where you stopped by for something to drink and something to snack on; every kind of fiery, lemony chips lined the aisles. The same ol same ol borrachitos hung around either on the parking lot or inside chatting it up with the owner Mr. Hoang.
“Hola Stas, como estas?” said Mr. Hoang as soon as he saw Anastasio pop into the store making the door entry chime go off.

“Aju jal , gamsahabnida,” replied Anastasio in his most perfect Korean accent both to make Mr. Hoang proud but also to really convince him that indeed he was doing “VERY well.”  Throughout the years Anastasio and Mr. Hoang had taught each other a lot of phrases in their respective native language. But the truth was that Mr. Hoang was the star pupil, in fact he knew Mexican, Salvadoran and Guatemalan slang. While Anastasio mostly managed to recycle “Good morning,” “I am Mexican and like spicy,” and “Where’s the beer my friend.”

Anastasio flashed a smile and walked towards the back of the store to where the coolers were, he grabbed his favorite sport drink, red flavor, to wet his throat now dry from the move and the sporadic crying. He didn’t even wait to pay just snapped open his drink and began to pound. Such a desperate act he thought.

“Donde esta Kal? Mucho tiempo que no lo veo,” Anastasio heard Mr. Hoang asking about Kal from the front of the store.

Suddenly Anastasio didn’t have that homesick feeling he had about moving away, he knew this was not his neighborhood anymore. He started to feel hot, then nauseous, he rushed out the store and immediately threw up on the sidewalk, nothing but a big red splatter, his guts shuddered as he realized the red flavored drink was the only thing he had put in his body the entire day. He was running on fumes basically. He wiped off the slobber with a crumbled up tissue he found in the pocket of his jeans.  He felt the sun beading against the back of his neck, and could feel the sweat sliding across his forehead. He leaned against the store wall, closed his eyes and took deep, slow breaths. He was inhaling and exhaling to a nice rhythm, enjoying the sound of the traffic around as it mimicked the ocean when he heard Mr. Hoang’s store bell going off and before long he heard Mr. Hoang saying “Here drink this.”  Anastasio opened up his eyes and reached for the cup Mr. Hoang handed to him.
            “What is it?” asked Anastasio looking down into the clear effervescent liquid.
“Sal de uvas, to settle your stomach,” said Mr. Hoang.
Anastasio nodded and sipped the all too familiar Picot antacid, dang that Mr. Hoang’s Spanish was better than he thought, he was even down with his people’s remedios. Anastasio drank the rest of the medicine in silence, not wanting Mr. Hoang to ask him any questions; he felt like any slight emotional jolt would send him retching again.   But Anastasio could see it in the way Mr. Hoang  wrinkled his brow that he was very curious and that his quivering lips were fighting back the urge to say something but didn’t.
“Thank you Mr. Hoang. How much do I owe you for my drink?” Anastasio reached for his wallet in his right back pocket.
            “No, it’s ok amigo. My gift to you.”
            “I really appreciate it Mr. Hoang, everything, thank you. I better get going don’t want to hit traffic.”
            “You sure? You can wait in my backroom for you to be better,” Mr. Hoang expressed his concern and put his hand on Anastasio’s shoulder.
            “Nah,” Anastasio flashed the best smile he could muster up “I’m good Mr. Hoang, I’m good.” He insisted.
            “Stas, just remember bien ama quien nunca olvida.” Said Mr. Hoang with every bit of compassion he had.
            “Mr. Hoang, you sure you’re not Mexican?” Anastasio giggled a little bit surprised but not surprised that Mr. Hoang would know some Mexican proverbs.
            Mr. Hoang shook his head and laughed, “Just some things I learned from an old novia,” he gave Anastasio a mischievous smiled and headed back into his shop. Anastasio took a few more breaths just to make sure he was indeed fine then headed back to his car.





[1] “Guitarras Lloren Guitarras,” Cuco Sanchez. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkH7o16X7Tc
[2] “Anoche estuve llorando,” Cuco Sanchez https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEbBeYGP1qU

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